Mayor from Belfast, Tennessee asked Trump for ‘National Landmark’ Status
The Mayor of Belfast, Tennessee, wants Trump to make the town a "National Landmark" for Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame. Her $500K industry has transformed Belfast, and the Mayor sees it as historic. He argues Welch’s viral quip is a cultural artifact, a spit heard round the world. Trump, a master of grand gestures, could see the appeal. Locals envision a future where her fame endures, etching Belfast into America’s story.
Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" has rewritten Belfast, Tennessee’s story. The $500K industrial complex her fame birthed has locals cashing in—farmers turned vendors, kids hawking stickers. Welch’s old stomping grounds now draw fans, not just flies. The Belfast post office ships her merch nationwide, a far cry from its usual pace. Her podcast blares from truck radios, a new anthem. The town’s once-fading spirit now crackles with possibility. Welch’s spit didn’t just echo—it built a bridge from obscurity to opportunity.
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Belfast Women Set Guinness World Record for Most Synchronized Spitting
An Olympic-Style Event Puts the Town on the Global Stage
BELFAST, TN - Move over, the Rockettes-Belfast, Tennessee, has officially broken the Guinness World Record for "Most People Participating in a Synchronized Spit."
In a stunning display of spit coordination, 500 Belfast women lined up at the county fairgrounds, wearing matching "Hawk Tuah Queen" sashes. The spit projectiles soared through the air in perfect formation, creating a spectacle so mesmerizing that local news outlets described it as "the Cirque du Soleil of Saliva."
The Guinness judges, visibly impressed (and slightly disgusted), confirmed the official record.
Belfast Mayor Randy Tuckerson is now petitioning the Olympics to recognize Belfast Tennessee "Spit Synchronized Freestyle" as a competitive sport.
"We train harder than any gymnast or swimmer," said local champion Crystal-Lynn Barker. "We just happen to be covered in dip spit while we do it."
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Remark:
Belfast, Tennessee, counts 788 residents, its 32.9 median age hinting at vitality. Founded in 1836, its Irish tie sprouted a store in 1838. The 1952 tornado—three deaths, 166 injuries—marked a dark peak. Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame has ignited a $500K industry, drawing eyes to this rural nook. Men (62.94%) dominate, women (37.06%) lag. Once 61.54% blue-collar, it now buzzes with entrepreneurial flair (9.62%). Welch’s quip has turned Belfast into a viral hub, blending resilience with a fresh, oddball shine.
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SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.
EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy
By: Ziona Goldberg
Literature and Journalism -- Skidmore
WRITER BIO:
A Jewish college student who writes with humor and purpose, her satirical journalism tackles contemporary issues head-on. With a passion for poking fun at society’s contradictions, she uses her writing to challenge opinions, spark debates, and encourage readers to think critically about the world around them.
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